Have you ever had your heart stomped and felt like your whole world had ended? I used to see it happen to other guys and I'd shake my head when I saw them act like life was over. And I'd be thinking, "Man, just move on."

Easier said than done—that's what you find out when it happens to you. But it can be done, and for me, the most powerful thing was gaining control of my mindset.

Here are 5 steps I took to change my mindset and get out of the rut:

Step 1: I Determined the True Source of My Pain.

One of the first things I had to do to get over my ex girlfriend was put things in perspective. After some careful reflection, I realized it wasn't even really her I was so hung up on.

In fact, I'd thought about ending it myself a few times. What really had me so shook up when it came down to it was feeling rejected.

Step 2: I Got Realistic.

Once I realized why I was really hurting, it gave me a chance to step back and look at the reality of the situation. The truth is we never would have been happy together. In fact, I probably always would have wondered if I could have had something more.

The break-up wasn't her fault. It wasn't my fault. It was just one of those necessary things in life that hurts but is nonetheless necessary. And when I put it in perspective like that, it didn't sting so much.

Step 3: I Re-Evaluated My Life.

Okay, I am embarrassed to say I had it pretty bad. I was so stuck on this girl that I had completely brushed aside all these other dreams I had.

Moving to Hawaii. Getting some world-traveling under my belt. Applying for seasonal work at a ski resort.

After some time away from her, I sat down and realized I could do anything I wanted now. There was no "other half" to worry about. I hadn't felt so free in years.

Step 4: I Changed My Life.

When I saw how off track I had gotten from what I really wanted in life, I was able to center and focus. I sat down and wrote a list of all the goals I'd been distracted from, then I chose four of those goals and wrote out an action plan for accomplishing them.

Some people say our worst moments in life are really opportunities—for me this was an opportunity to grow and start over. This not only changed my mindset about what it meant but gave me healthy habits and activities to take up my time and distract me.

Step 5: I Saw the Big Picture.

All these points above all came down to this one thing—and this was the key I used to get over my ex girlfriend—all these steps were about changing my focus in life.

The end result was that I ended up a better man because we broke up. I was now improving myself by working on my body, my life, my friendships, and my confidence.

I wasn't so caught up in this dysfunctional relationship, and as a result of implementing all these positive life choices, I was able to start becoming more myself than I had been in years.

In the end, it gave me a better life and led to better relationships with better women in the future.

Are you struggling with your own heartbreak after some girl left you in the dust? I know, I know—she wasn't just "some girl" to you; I felt the same way.

But you have to disassociate with that notion that she was "the one." Four months from now, you'll look back and laugh at that idea.