Are you having problems in your marriage? Have you or your spouse had an affair or drifted apart over the years? Would you like to learn how to save your marriage without the help of a therapist? Let's face it, given today's economy and our hurried and over scheduled lifestyles, not everyone has the time or money for a marriage therapist or counselor.
But you can save your marriage without a therapist if you and your spouse are willing to put in some time and effort and follow these "5 steps to saving your marriage without a therapist.
" The first step involves commitment.
Are you and your spouse truly committed to saving and enhancing your marriage? Are you willing to forgive and forget your past mistakes and indiscretions? You must answer yes to these two questions.
If there is no commitment from both partners to do whatever it takes to save the marriage, then there is no marriage.
If you are unwilling to forgive your partner for past affairs and mistakes, then you might as well file for a divorce now! Without commitment and trust from both husband and wife, there cannot exist a growing and supportive relationship.
The second step is to set aside time for repairing your relationship.
Repairing your marriage will not happen overnight.
It will take time to fall in love again, and once more become the loving caring couple you were many years ago.
In the beginning, set aside a specified time each day to discuss your marriage inadequacies and how you will rectify them.
You have to take the time to sit down, discuss, analyze and define a plan of action that will get your marriage back on the right track.
After a week or two, these "marriage sessions" can occur less frequently, but maintain a minimum of at least one session a week.
Later on this can transpose into a special "date night", where the two of you can share an intimate evening unencumbered by children and daily worries or routines.
This leads us directly into step 3.
How can you possibly have a harmonious marriage if you have never told your spouse your wants and desires for your marriage or for you as an individual? In a successful marriage, not only are the individuals themselves expected and allowed to grow and flourish, but so is the marriage itself.
Just as both partners mature and transform over time, so will your marriage.
All too often our communication consists of vague generalities, such as "I want a happy marriage" or "I want a loving devoted spouse".
What do these things mean to you? Tell your spouse exactly what a happy marriage is and define what a loving devoted spouse is.
Your definitions might be totally different then your spouse's.
Men your wife might think that a happy marriage is one without fights and arguments.
Women your husbands might define a happy marriage as having a supportive wife and home life-a safe haven he can come home to and relax from the pressures of work.
You need to share with each other what's important to you and your marriage.
What do you want out of your marriage? What do you want from life? What do you want from your spouse? What are your dreams and aspirations? Share these with your partner and watch the love and communication flow.
After you've "opened up" to your spouse, now it's time to make promises to each other that will reinforce your commitment.
This is step 4 to saving your marriage without a therapist.
Don't take this step lightly.
It's only in keeping our promises that our spouse will know that we are serious about saving our marriage.
If you used to stop after work and have a few drinks with your buddies, and now you promised your wife you would stop and come home directly from work, then commit to coming home directly after work! And if you're going to be a few minutes late, call your wife and let her know.
If you promised to have a family dinner on the table at 6:15 everyday, then do it! Keeping simple promises will convince the two of you that you are committed to making your marriage not just work, but thrive! The fifth and final step to saving your marriage without a therapist is to realize that you're not perfect, your spouse isn't perfect, and the marriage will not be perfect.
As human beings we make mistakes daily.
Repairing your marriage will not be easy and errors will be made.
Expect them and move beyond them.
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