December is as solid a month as any to hit the town in Houston, and below you've got a ton (or 23) things to keep you busy. There are concerts, plays, art exhibits, sporting events, and outdoor activities. Know of an event in Houston that isn't listed below but should be? Shoot me an email.

Wednesday, December 10
Rudyard’s: Concert

If you really want to up your lower Westheimer street cred, head out tonight to check Indie-psych rockers Spain Colored Orange, who have developed an enjoyably quirky live show.

Accidentally make reference to their show the following day to your friends and make sure to use the words “sonic” and “ethereal.” You’ll automatically be the hippest accountant in your department.

Rudyard's
713-521-0521

Thursday, December 11
Vino 100: Champagne Tasting

I’ve never been to a Champagne Tasting –I hear they’re fun, though- so I’m not accustomed to usual prices, but $40 seems a bit much. I mean, with that same $40 I could get 20 Lonestar tallboys and 20 single pattie cheeseburgers. I’m classy like that.

Vino 100
281-759-4100

Friday, December 12
Orange Show: Christmas in East End

The Christmas in the East End festival is pretty much exactly the same as a Christmas Festival in, say, River Oaks. Except instead of Santa Claus, Pancho Claus reigns king. And instead of a sleigh, he rides to the show in a lowrider. And instead of Christmas cookies there are Mexican delicacies. But other than that, yeah, it’s exactly the same.

Orange Show
713-926-6368

Saturday, December 13
Old Downtown Tomball: German Christmas Market

And since you just reached below the border for a bit of spicy-Christmas yesterday, why not follow it up with a bit more sauerkrauty version by paying a visit to Tomball’s German Christmas Market? It’ll probably be really funny if you keep pronouncing Santa Claus “Santa Clowess.” Surely nobody’s thought of that before.

City of Tomball
200 Market St.

Sunday, December 14
St. Thomas High School: Buffalo Bayou Kayak Tour

Surely you’ve fantasized about kayaking down the majestic flowing grace that is Buffalo Bayou before, and thanks to those wily water enthusiasts at St. Thomas high school you now can. $50 per person gets you everything you’ll need for the trip, except of course the friend with low esteem that you’ll peer pressure into going with you.

St. Thomas
713-864-6348

Monday, December 15
Alley Theatre: A Christmas Carol (play)

I've really got my fingers crossed that somebody comes up with a stage adaptation to the big screen epic A Christmas Story. In the meantime, A Christmas Carol will have to do, I suppose.

Alley Theatre
713-228-8421

Tuesday, December 16
Toyota Center: New Orleans Hornets vs. Houston Rockets

Catch the new look Rockets as they take on Chauncey Billups and the suddenly relevant Denver Nuggets. Remember, Ron Artest, of Brawl at the Palace of Auburn Hills fame, is with the Rockets now, so there’s a slight, slight chance that you may be punched in the face by a professional athlete at the game. Good luck.

Houston Rockets
713-627-3865

Wednesday, December 17
Houston Museum of Natural Science: Body Worlds 2 & The Brain: Our Three Pound Gem exhibit

If you’ve never seen Body World’s before, it really is a must. Essentially, Dr. GvH has “plasticized” more than 200 human specimens, removing their skins and exposing the “machine which winds the springs” for the world’s gawking eyes. Do not underestimate the creepiness of this exhibit. Price is $17-25 dollars.

Body World's
713.639.IMAX

Thursday, December 18
Toyota Center: Concert

You’d be hard pressed to find a rapper more relevant right now than Lil’ Wayne. (Kanye West may have something to say about that assertion, though.) You’d also be hard pressed to find a rapper more idiosyncratic that Lil’ Wayne. (Kanye West may have something to say about that assertion, too.) He’ll be in concert tonight with Keyshia Cole and the annoyingly auto-tuned chorus king T-Pain. Check him out.

Toyota Center
1.866.4.HOUTIX

Friday, December 19
Houston Museum of Natural Science- The Birth of Christianity: A Jewish Story

The press release bills this as a display of ancient scrolls, objects, and artifacts that allows “the story of two of the world’s most influential religions [to] unfold,” but the real entertainment will probably come from counting how many tools make really edgy and clever Mel Gibson jokes. The over/under is set at 14 1/2, by the way.

Houston Museum of Natural Science
713.639.IMAX

Saturday, December 20
Toyota Center: College Basketball Doubleheader

What’s better than seeing the Texas Longhorns lose at anything? Why, seeing the Aggies lose on the same day, of course. See both of them for the price of one at this midday doubleheader. And make sure you mention how the Football Longhorns didn’t make it to the National Championship game. I’m sure their fans will appreciate it.

Toyota Center
1.866.4.HOUTIX

Sunday, December 21
Reliant Park: Disney on Ice – Disneyland Adventure

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I get an aching in my bones to buy my kids a $19* coke. Fortunately, Disney on Ice is in town and they allow me to do just that. It also lets me see androgynous cartoon characters fiddle around on ice skates, which is another hobby of mine.

*slightly exaggerated

Reliant Park
832-667-1400

Monday, December 22
Houston Museum of Natural Science: Photography Exhibit

I won’t lie, I’ve never been terribly interested in looking at pictures of rocks/geographic landscapes/etc, but photographer Michael Collier has some really noteworthy shots of just those things. Give it a whirl, you may come away surprised. Even if you’re not, at least you’ll sound intelligent tomorrow when you tell people that’s how you spent Sunday night.

Houston Museum of Natural Science
713.639.IMAX