My father used to say that shyness was a form of arrogance.
He theorized that if you were so wrapped up in yourself and regarded everything you did as being of interest to the world and his wife, it was no wonder that you got stressed about it.
His method of dealing with his own shyness was to concentrate on other people and be interested in them rather than make yourself the centre of the universe.
To a younger person, however, this is more easily said than done.
As a shy youngster you feel as if you're trying to survive in a veritable jungle of potential hazards, from the school bully to whether you've got the right trainers (sneakers) or the latest iPhone.
I am shy.
That is fact I've come to terms with and try to live with for all my forty seven years.
I'm not a psychologist.
I have no training in the mechanics of why people feel self- conscious or shy.
I just know that it is an extremely debilitating condition which has definitely held me back.
For instance the process of actually writing this article would have been anathema to me in the past.
I'd have seen it as laying myself bare just as surely as if I'd run down my local high street stark naked.
Throughout my life I have taken pills and potions in an attempt to make myself more confident.
I've been to counsellors and psychologists who probed and prodded the inner workings of my brain.
I've had my whole family history picked to pieces just to find out from them that "yes you are shy and, yes, so was an ancestor of yours".
Well, whoop de do, tell me something I didn't know! I eventually realised that it was going to be up to me to deal with this thing.
I had to formulate a set of coping strategies to move me forward.
Firstly I accepted that I was shy and that it was something that I believe was hard-wired in me from birth.
The next thing I had to accept is that the past is the past and there is nothing I could do to change things.
It's the same for every shy person.
So all those moments that you thought were highly embarrassing.
That time when you asked that special someone out on a date and were rebuffed.
Or the time that you tried to answer a question in class and got it wrong and thought that your classmates were judging you.
Well, forget them.
They're gone and in any case nobody gave a damn anyway because they were more concerned with what was happening in their lives.
Something that really helped me harks back to the very beginning of this essay and the advice that my dad gave me.
There is something infinitely satisfying about doing someone else a good turn.
It leaves you aglow with self worth and feeling energized with positivity.
It also teaches you that you're not the centre of the universe and life does not revolve around you.
For example, I felt a discernible lift in me as soon as I became a father.
Suddenly I had someone depending on me and that felt good and it made me face the things I had to do with a sense of vigour and purpose.
However, this was a quarter of a century ago and what I didn't do at that time was build on that newly - discovered confidence.
As children get older they become more independent and certainly less dependent on you.
It was at this time that I began to slowly-but-surely lapse back into my old habits of getting anxious in new situations.
What I'm trying to say is, keep up the idea of being useful to other people.
Make it known in your community that you're someone that can be relied upon to be a 'helping-hand' or a support when things are tough for other folk.
The results are earth shattering.
You'll begin to feed off that energy that reciprocated goodwill generates.
Combating shyness is a constant battle, a state of perpetual vigilance against an indefatigable foe.
Once you let your guard down you are apt to be swallowed up by this shapeless demon.
I've found that saying aloud an affirmation really helps in focussing the mind on the fight.
Something as simple and as well known as: 'I can make a difference today' or 'I deserve to be happy' or something that you make-up yourself to feel energized and positive.
I hope this has been of some help to anyone whose taken the time to read it.
I'd like to conclude by just saying that the first step is always the hardest for people with our condition but the benefits can be enormous.
Believe in your own potential.