Copyright (c) 2009 Nick Hodges

I recently went to Africa with my son to see the gorillas of Ruanda. We had the privilege to be with a gorilla family for over an hour. The total number of gorillas in the family was nineteen, including infants. After trekking on foot through a thick bamboo forest at an altitude starting at 8,000 feet, we were awed and amazed at the sight.

I must confess, however, that we did not start this adventure on our own. When we came upon the gorilla family, we had been well-prepared by our guide, François. He understood the realities and the apprehensions associated with visiting the gorillas. He had been here before; he knew this particular gorilla family well. Because of his expertise, we were able to observe a mother gorilla and her baby from a distance of only five feet!

Instead of being frightening, it was wonderful. The mother lovingly held her child as the child reached his arm out to us to play. The mother was not afraid; after all, she held her child and we were with François, our guide and her trusted friend.

Shortly thereafter, we spotted Lucky, the dominant male silverback of the family. He appeared to be powerful, brave and fearless. He was majestic in every sense of the word. Cast against the bamboo in the dark jungle, his appearance was more than a bit scary. But once again, François calmed us down and all was right. We even got to the point where we took turns having our photos taken with Lucky in the background. This required that we turn our back on him.

After a while, Lucky decided he had had enough of our visit. We stood in a line about eight feet downhill from Lucky. My son, Nicholas, was at the far right-end of the line next to our guide François and I was positioned at the left-end of the line with the other travelers between us. Suddenly, Lucky turned and started walking straight at young Nicholas.

This was our moment of truth. This was the moment in which François shined as our guide. He had wisely spent our time on the trail by reviewing the rules of engagement for the mountain gorillas. In this moment, we each remembered those very important rules that we had been taught:

Rule One: Do not run! If you run the silverback (the dominate male) will attack and kill you!

Rule Two: Do not look a silverback in the eye. This is a direct challenge to his authority and he will kill you!

Rule Three: Do not scream or speak loudly. Loud high pitch sounds will be viewed as an adversarial challenge and you will lose. He will kill you.

Rule Four: If the silverback approaches or charges you, squat down and avert your eyes. Act submissive or he will kill you!

Rule Five: If a young gorilla comes up to play, don't touch it or play with it. The silverback will think you are trying to steal his child and he will kill you! François instructed us to ignore the young gorilla and he would come over and scare it off.

Rule Six: Don't approach the gorillas on your own. He will tell us when to move forward and when to stop. If you failed to listen, you risked irritating the silverback and if irritated enough, he will kill you!

Rule Seven: You are on the gorilla's mountain. They are gentle giants and do not wish harm to anyone, but we are in their land and we must abide by their rules. The silverback is the enforcer, but does not wish any harm.

Well, we didn't scream, and we didn't run. We all squatted and averted our eyes. Lucky moved closer and closer to Nicholas. I watched out of the corner of my eye as the massive arm of Lucky slapped or pushed what I thought was my son. As it turned out, François, our trusted guide, had thrown himself over Nicholas to shield him. François took what was just a small push for a Silverback, but incredibly scary to Nicholas and me. François understood that Lucky was giving us the old push off and we left shortly thereafter.

The experience was truly priceless. The lesson I learned on my summer vacation was that the true value of a guide cannot be measured during the easy times. Rather, the true measure of our guide really only manifested itself during the difficult times.

Imagine what could have happened to us if we had decided to "go it alone"? Even with research and independent study, we would not have had our guide, François, to protect us in a critical moment. More importantly, François had the personal experience in the field that no amount of reading or research could duplicate.

U.S. expatriates living abroad are often tempted to go it alone, as well, as they make decisions about their finances and their tax preparation. It's easy to make the wrong decision when trying to navigate your expat experience without a professional to properly guide you. Just as we discovered the value of our guide, François, during an incident that might have otherwise resulted in a tragic chain of events, successful U.S. expatriates rely on the knowledge and experience of their trusted expat financial professional to help them manage all aspects of their finances regardless of the circumstances.