In an ideal world, parenting young children would be a perfect seamless transition from the innocent, adorable, cuddly baby stage to the cooperative, responsible, loveable child.
In reality, lofty expectations can fall apart even before your child hits the Terrible 2's as the heavenly baby becomes a self willed little individual who desires independence despite the fact that they are ill equipped, psychologically or developmentally, to handle it.
It's 100% understandable that parents are concerned about doing the right thing amid the wave of family giving their opinions and the over supply of "How To Parent" books covering the bookshelves.
In a blended family there are often competing views in the different households that further complicate the issue.
As stated by 2 parenting specialists, Foster Cline and Jim Fay, the fundamental rules for effective parenting are: 1.
Set firm limits with enforceable statements 2.
Permit the child to choose and experience natural consequences of those actions.
This parenting system, called a "Consultant", consistently teaches children that they must think for themselves from a very young age, and serves them well through teenage years and into adulthood.
When my granddaughter traveled from her father's house to her mom's, she often got confused about what behaviors were allowed in which home.
While she was able to get away with throwing tantrums and manipulating at her father's house, she encountered clear expectations and boundaries from her mom.
A kind prompt from her mom, like "Oh! I think you have forgotten about your expectations in this house" would often transform my granddaughter from grumbling and demanding to being respectful and happy - her mom couldn't get over what a difference choosing to be a consistent consultant made in the level of peace in their life, even when her father used a completely different strategy in his home.
It's never too early (or late) to start setting limits and permitting children to be taught from the consistent consequences of choices.
The joy of parenting involves lots of practice.
Here are some areas where you can begin setting foundations of raising responsible, intelligent, cooperative children: 1.
Bedtime- Decide on a bedtime and a consistent routine that guides your child to her bedroom with the fixed expectation that she'll remain there, quiet down and fall asleep.
2.
Help With Meals- Schedule a weekly mealtime where everyone assists in both preparation jobs and clean up.
Have the smallest children pick from from a list of easy jobs to create the feeling that they are valued and have responsibility.
Model and reinforce table manners.
Each and every parent wishes to bring up trustworthy, confident, happy children, and although it can be difficult to get serious about this when they're only babies or toddlers, it's essential to let them experience the logical consequences of their behavior.
The moment they can understand the connection between their behavior and the responses of their parents, it's time.
This happens between the ages of seven and nine months.
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